Quite Simple

"Please....explain it to me again...."

"It really is quite simple....if he spurts in your mouth then he's a sinner..."

"Okay.....I see...."

"This time Sister....do it slow...."

 

 

Is It Me?

"Is it me that you love or is it my car?"

"Oh Honey....that's such a silly question....her let me show you...."

Failed

"Alright....lets try it again....and please remember....no biting next time!!!"

Just Around The Block

"Just a walk around the block...." she said!
"It's late....no one will see...." she said!
"But maybe someone will..." she said!
"But when you get back....maybe I'll have the key ready..." she said!!!
I hadn't even made it to the corner when the police car pulled up....
"Excuse me.....Sir.....but where do you think you're going dressed...like that?"
"Oh hello Officer....it's all a kind of joke....my wife wanted me to walk around the block like this...."
"Your wife...."
"Yes Officer....that's her back there....in front of the big yellow house...."
"I see....so this is some kind of game you two are playing?"
"Yes Officer....I didn't mean any harm...."
"You stay right here while I go talk to your wife...."
"Yes Officer!!!"
It was bad enough walking around like this but just standing here was so much worse!!!!
I watched them talking and I actually heard them both laughing....soon after he came back to me....
"Alright Sissy....I think I've got the full story now....so you go on ahead and do what your wife wanted you to do....but she asked me to give you an escort so get out there about twenty feet ahead of me and I'll follow you...."
"An escort....I really don't need...."
"It's for your own safety Sissy....your wife insisted....she's a very persuasive woman and really hot too!!!"
I started to walk....this wasn't so bad....his headlights at least let me see the road so I wouldn't trip.....this was OK....at least he wasn't using....
Then his blue flashing lights went on.....and they stayed on all the way around the block!!!
He escorted me right to my front door!!!! I wished the earth would open up and swallow me!!!
Well maybe the earth didn't but I certainly opened up and swallowed him....
She had promised him....and I delivered!!!

Why

She thought it would be funny to let him have the remote for the plug while she went to the bathroom....he thought it was funny too!!!

The poor guy who had to sweep up the food court didn't think it was so funny though!!!!

Leaving You

"I'm sorry Sissy but I'm leaving you....I've fallen for another!!!"

"But why....what has he got that I don't?"

"He's way taller than me....and he's so powerful....lots of muscle....a full head of blond hair and really strong legs...."

"There's no way i could compete with that..."

"No you can't Sissy....and did I mention that I can ride him for hours....and he doesn't seem to ever get tired....and he's hung like a horse!!!"

"I guess I wish you luck Sweetheart....I hope you'll be happy together...."

"Oh I'm sure we will Sissy!!!"

Wagging

He was very excited when he heard them say to "Go get the leash!!!"

Then he realized that he wouldn't be going walkies right now after all!!!

Rough

I told him I liked it rough....and he enjoyed it too...but this was the third time he'd used the knife to cut away my panties and it was starting to get pretty expensive!!! 

If he kept doing this I was going to have to switch to Hanes 3-packs....not particularly sexy...but he didn't seem to care how sexy they were....just how easy they were to cut!!!

Stealing

"No Sissy....I'm not stealing your girlfriend....I'm gonna give her back when I'm done...."

For Who

I really wasn't sure who she put the mark there for....him or me....and after a short time I'd completely forgotten about it!!!!

Summer

 it may not be officially summer yet but they've already moved the herd out to the grazing land....that meant an early morning hike out into the field to milk them....but none of the girls minded so much on beautiful days like these!!!

New At This

 Sure....I may be new at this...

But I'm already turning a profit!!!

Let's See

"Alright Sissy....let's take a look at those useless testicles..."

"But I'm here for a sprained ankle!!!"

"And you're in chastity and panties....so like I said....let's look at those useless testicles..."

Reach

I was surprised when she told me that i would be holding the spare key to my cage....I would be on the honor system she said....

It was only after she left the room that I discovered the collar it was attached to was locked on.....

She tried so hard not to laugh as she watched my contortions while I tried to bring the cage and key together.....this was the most fun she'd had in quite a while!!!

Careful

She was always after me to be careful not to let everyone see my panties!!!!
Maybe that's something I might have learned if I'd actually grown up wearing skirts or dresses....
And then I wonder why they make panties so pretty if no one is allowed to see them!!!
I try to keep my modesty.....but all of that goes out the window after the third glass of champagne.....

Sorry Honey

"I'm sorry Honey but the snap-poll I posted on Twitter says that I shouldn't let you cum in my mouth....better luck next time!!!"

School For the Blind

Barry had been a student at the School For the Blind since he was a little boy....and for the first time he was feeling something really different....he wasn't sure what it was but he was sure that he liked it!!!!

Just Like That

And then....just like that....Lois was reminded that Superman was actually an alien!!!

Star Wars - Boba Fett

So what was the problem between Han Solo and Boba Fett?

Well it started long ago and it involved using a condom....

Noises

 After nights of hearing noises in the house they finally hired an exterminator....

"I'm sorry to tell you but you've got a pretty serious mouse problem...."

"Can't you just set some traps?"

"Yeah but these kind of mice require special bait...."

"Cheese? Peanut butter?"

"Nope....for these particular mice you're going to have to use cash and lots of it....it's the only thing that attracts them!!!"

Got It

"Alright Sissy I've got a good grip on it this time.....you want me to pull slowly and carefully or just give it one hard yank?"

"Slow please....go slow...."

"One hard yank it is!!!"

"Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!"

Not Sure Why

 Tommy was not sure why all his friends complained that their girlfriends wouldn't have sex with them....

His girlfriend wanted sex just as often as he did....maybe more!!!

The Monster

The monster rose from under the water....it stared at her with it's one eye....but she wasn't really afraid.....perhaps she could befriend it somehow....it seemed to enjoy her playful actions.....maybe she would survive this encounter....she wondered what else she could offer  that would please it.....she felt sure it was looking for something more from her....but what!!!

Safety

In the interest of my safety my wife installed something to make sure I couldn't fall off my swing!!!!

The only problem was that she felt I was spending far too much time swinging!!!

Perfect

 When my wife's friend asked if I could be a model at her boutique for a couple of days my wife agreed, but only on the condition that no one could recognize me....

She said there was very little chance....and I have to agree.....

Been A While

"I'm very sorry Ma'am....you see I haven't been released from the cage in quite a while!!!"

Recommended

I would like to recommend this hotel....it's clean, centrally located and it offers the best wake-up service I've ever had!!!!!

Why

His friends all wondered why Tommy had joined the cheerleader squad....

Tommy wondered why all his friends hadn't joined.....there were so many little accidents like this and it was better when they were in their uniforms!!!!

You Know What They Say

 You know what they say....

Appearances can be deceiving!!!

But not in this case...

 

 

Searching

So....there's all these TV shows about people searching for Bigfoot....

I hope they find him....I really do....because I've got a few questions to ask that hairy bastard about that weekend that my wife claimed to be at a conference....